When the Snow Falls
by Fai-kitty and Kuro-woof
Summary: Another Kurowoofapproved Faikitty work. Kurogane confronts Fai about his past and finally gets his answers. KuroFai.
1. Silent Snowfall

_**When the Snow Falls…**_

_**Prologue**_

_**Silent Snowfall**_

"Something wrong?" Kurogane asked as he bit Fai's neck playfully.

"No… it's just…" Fai whispered softly in response, staring blankly out the window by the bedside.

"Just what?" Kurogane backed off a bit and looked at Fai.

"I just noticed it's snowing," Fai smiled sadly.

"That's all?" Kurogane glared.

"Mm-hm," Fai nodded.

"No it isn't, you liar. If you think you can get away with lying like that, you're sadly mistaken," Kurogane insisted as he started in on Fai's neck again. "So, you gonna tell me what it is?"

"When the snow falls… I can't help it… When the snow falls… I always think of him…" Fai thought to himself, not daring to voice the words. Kurogane would probably be understanding of him if he told him, though perhaps a bit annoyed or angry at the same time, but Fai didn't want to mention it at all. If he couldn't forget, he wanted to at least keep Kurogane from remembering.

"Why won't you tell me what's going on in that head of yours, mage? Are you afraid to tell me?" Kurogane questioned, giving Fai some space again. With Fai in this state, he decided he'd rather not continue any further.

"It's nothing," Fai smiled.

"Like I'd ever believe that," Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Some things are best left forgotten, Kuro-sama," Fai argued as he leaned forward against Kurogane's chest. "So… help me forget… please… Kuro-tan?"

"Sex isn't going to help you _forget_ anything," Kurogane glared. "And you obviously can't forget whatever it is that you're thinking about so the only way you can deal with it is talking, not shoving it under the mattress and pretending it isn't there."

"Let me just pretend, then," Fai insisted. "It's the only thing I know."

"I won't let you do that to yourself. You know bottling up all this garbage in your mind is just going to kill you on the inside," Kurogane stated bluntly.

"Suicide of the spirit then, hm? Certainly sounds like something I'd do," Fai said with a musing smile.

"Talk to me," Kurogane insisted, obviously having no patience for this at the current moment.

"When the snow falls… I can't help it… When the snow falls… I think of him…" Fai whispered.

"I can see why you didn't want to talk to me about it," Kurogane admitted. "But that's still no excuse. So, start talking."

"It was snowing like this…"


	2. Snowblind

_**When the Snow Falls…**_

_**Chapter One**_

_**Snow-blind**_

_It was snowing like this… on the day that we met…_

The cold flakes of snow landed on his lips his nose and the lids of his eyes but Fai didn't feel a thing. Everything was empty. He was far removed from the world around him at this point. Everything was gone.

It was then that one sharp yet gentle voice pulled Fai back to the world he had been separating from. "You there, boy, what are you doing out in the cold like this?"

As Fai's eyes slowly opened to the world once more, he heard the footsteps of the stranger coming towards him. He looked up at him, this strange raven-haired man dressed in elegant attire who had roused him from his slumber before it became permanent.

"You certainly should have worn a thicker coat if you were going to go out in weather like this. Here," the stranger took off his coat and draped it around Fai's shoulders. "Now, what is your name and where do you live? I shall take you home."

"There is no home," Fai smiled sadly. "And there's no one to return home to. Momma, Poppa, Sister… they're all gone."

The stranger's eye seemed to be suddenly ensnared by the pendant around his neck. "Are you, by chance, the son of the West Mage?"

"I am," Fai nodded.

"I heard the entire village was wiped out when the invasion started," the stranger's eyes went wide.

"Sister hid me away when the invaders came. I am the only one left," Fai said. "My name is Fai and I am the only survivor of the attack."

"I had hoped that our first meeting would be under far better circumstances but there is no way to alter what has already transpired. Fai, I am Prince Ashura, heir to the throne. I am deeply sorry for your loss and I pray that you will agree to come back with me to the palace. Will you, Fai?" Ashura locked his gaze on Fai's eyes as he put his hands on the small boy's shoulders.

"There is nothing else left to me. Why should I object?" Fai rationalized.

"Good then. Can you stand?" Ashura questioned as he stood himself.

"I think so," Fai nodded gently and shakily rose to his feet.

"You look unsteady. Are you certain that you can walk on your own?" Ashura glanced down at the boy walking beside him.

"I can walk," Fai gave a small feline smile. As he faltered a little, Fai reached out and grabbed Ashura's hand for balance. Once he had realized what he had done, however, he blushed slightly and tried to pull the hand back. "My apologies, Your Highness."

Ashura held onto his hand firmly so that Fai could not pull it back, though. "It is quite alright. Hold onto my hand. I wouldn't want you to fall," Ashura smiled. As he approached the creature he had tied up before, he suddenly realized that Fai wouldn't be able to get on by himself.

"I can pull myself up, Lord Ashura. I've ridden one of these before," Fai insisted.

"Nonsense. I only hope that you weigh about as much as you look like you do," Ashura reached out and took Fai into his arms, hoisting him up so that he now sat atop the large feathery beast. "There we are." Ashura quickly unknotted the reins from around the tree. He climbed on behind the small blond boy and took the reins in his hands. "Be careful now, Fai. If you fall off during the journey you won't survive."

"I know how to fly, Your Highness," Fai told him.

"Yes, but I doubt you have the energy to do so. You looked like you were at death's door with your hand on the doorknob back there," Ashura responded. "So hold on tight, understood? The ride shall not last long."

"Understood, Your Highness," Fai nodded softly.

"You can call me Lord or Prince Ashura, Fai. Your Highness is simply too formal." Ashura's one hand gripped the reins even tighter as the other one let go for only a second to point into the distance. "Can you see it yet? We are fast approaching the palace."

"I can see it, Lord Ashura," Fai responded.

"You have good eyes then," Ashura remarked.

It was only a matter of minutes before Ashura and Fai landed within the castle's gates. Many concerned servants gathered quickly around the landing site, wanting to know where Ashura had gone, wanting to know if Ashura was all right, and most importantly wanting to know who this small sickly boy with him was and why he was with him.

"Your Highness, are you all right?" one of the servants asked.

"I am fine, I assure you. You have my gratitude for worrying about me while I was out," Ashura dismounted. He reached his hands up for Fai and lifted him down gently. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Fai, the son of the West Mage and the only survivor of the western invasion. He will be staying here from now on and I expect you all to treat him exactly as you treat me."

"Your Highness, I think it would be best if Lord Fai was taken inside and given a place to rest. He looks unwell," one of the servants advised.

"Yes, of course. I shall take care of him." Ashura turned to Fai and offered out his hand. "Shall we go, Fai?"

Fai awkwardly took the hand that was offered to him and made his way inside the palace with Ashura.

"Fai, how old are you?" Ashura asked as they wandered down the corridors.

"Twelve, Lord Ashura," Fai answered.

"I thought I had heard that the West Mage's children were twelve. You certainly don't look it, though," Ashura commented.

"And may I ask how old you are, Lord Ashura?" Fai looked up at the raven-haired man.

"I am fifteen years old," Ashura responded.

"You certainly don't look it, Lord Ashura," Fai said.

"I hope you don't mind it for right now but the only quarters I can think of which are currently available are servant's quarters," Ashura motioned to a door on the left.

"I don't mind at all, Lord Ashura," Fai shook his head lightly.

"Then here we are," Ashura pushed the door open with his magic as they approached it. "Rest here for as long as you like. My father will certainly wish to meet you right away once he hears news of your arrival but I shall hold him off until you have finished resting."

"Thank you so very much, Lord Ashura," Fai bowed his head and shut the door that stood between them. He walked over to the bed and collapsed instantly, falling into a deep, deep sleep.

"Lord Fai, please wake up, Lord Fai. His Highness wishes to see you and you really should eat something," a servant called from the bedside.

Fai's eyes slowly opened to… the morning sunlight? How long had he been asleep?

"You may leave now, Kendappa. I can take care of him myself," Ashura insisted.

"Oh, of course, Lord Ashura," she smiled at him and left the room.

"Are you feeling better now that you have rested, Fai? You were asleep for two days," Ashura sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Two days…?" Fai sat up.

"We arranged for a better room for you right next to mine. Kendappa carried you up to this room. So, what do you think about it?" Ashura asked.

Fai looked around slowly, taking in the scenery. "I like it. Thank you, Lord Ashura."

"There are new clothes in the closet for you. I hope you find those to your liking as well," Ashura stated. "Now, we should get you something to eat. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, Lord Ashura, very much," Fai nodded.

_Why couldn't I see it back then... that there was something beyond that smile just as there was something behind mine…? Was I just blinded by the snow?_


	3. Snow White

_**When the Snow Falls…**_

_**Chapter Two**_

_**Snow White**_

_In those days… it was all just one big fairytale…_

"Fai, where did you go?" Ashura called as he strolled into the courtyard, astounded to find that it was rather warm and without snow for once.

"I'm right here, Lord Ashura," Fai leaned down from a nearby tree.

"Why, Fai, you're always full of surprises," Ashura sat down on the stone wall beneath the tree. "Tell me, Fai, why is it that you chose to serve me? You could have joined the mage's militia and pledged your service to the country. You could have even stayed here without pledging your services to anyone. So, why did you choose me?"

"Well, because you saved me," Fai smiled felinely.

"Fai, when I become king, will you still serve only me?" Ashura asked.

"That's what I want to do but if you wish for me to join the mage's militia I would certainly do so," Fai admitted.

"I wouldn't want you to do that. I want you to stay by my side," Ashura insisted.

Things grew quiet between them as Fai stretched out on the branch of the tree.

"Fai, how long has it been?" Ashura looked up at the blond in the tree.

Without thought, Fai immediately replied, "Three years, Lord Ashura."

"You've certainly grown up since then. You barely reached my waist in height when we first met. Now, I think you might be taller than me," Ashura smiled slightly.

"A little shorter," Fai insisted.

"It's not just your height either. It's your looks as well. Your face was so round and childlike back then but now your looks have matured. I think the only word that can properly describe you now is beautiful," Ashura chuckled.

"Lord Ashura…" Fai blushed.

"You still think I am merely teasing you, don't you, Fai?"

"What else am I to think?"

"That I really do find you attractive," he suggested.

Fai kept his mouth shut. He knew it was highly unlikely that he would be punished or even scolded for contradicting Ashura but he still didn't like the idea of it. Whether Ashura was teasing him or not, Fai really didn't like the idea of arguing over something so trivial. "Do you like what I've done to the courtyard, Lord Ashura?"

"You did this?" Ashura blinked. "I am quite impressed. I didn't know you could change the weather."

"In a place this small," Fai nodded.

"You really are quite amazing," Ashura smiled.

"It's nothing special," Fai insisted.

"Perhaps not but you certainly are," Ashura said.

"Lord Ashura…"

"Fai, I hope you don't think me too out of line but would you mind if I kissed you?"

"What?" Fai opened his mouth to ask but was quickly silenced with Ashura's lips.

From that kiss was born a new relationship and from that kiss, to them at least, a whole new world was born as well.

* * *

"Lord Ashura, are you sure you want me to be moving in here with you? I mean, as it is, I'm in the next room anyway and what will people think if I move into this room?" Fai asked, blushing slightly and fidgeting awkwardly as he sat with his lord in the sitting area of his lord's room.

"They shall think what is true. I fail to see the harm in that," Ashura insisted. "Of course, if you are uncomfortable with the idea for personal reasons, I would understand if you chose to stay where you are."

"Oh no, I'd love to move in Lord Ashura… it's just…" Fai frowned a bit, keeping his eyes set on the floor.

Ashura stood up and walked over to Fai. He lifted the blond's head delicately until their eyes met. "There is no need for concern, Fai. Let the people think what they will. Their opinions are of no importance."

"Okay, Lord Ashura," Fai nodded softly. He stood up and with a quick feline smile stated, "I'm going to go move my belongings in then."

"Not so fast, you silly little kitten," Ashura chuckled slightly as he laid a hand on Fai's shoulder. "Leave that to Kendappa and the other servants. You still have not eaten breakfast."

Later that night, long after the servants had moved Fai's belongings into the Lord's room, Fai laid down with Ashura and made love with him. It certainly wasn't their first time but it was the first time Fai stayed after it was over. After they had finished, Ashura laid down with Fai by his side.

"Lord Ashura…" Fai cuddled up against his beloved king's side.

"Rest, Fai…" Ashura ran his one hand through Fai's blond locks soothingly. "You seem so tired…"

"I'm alright," Fai smiled felinely, "as long as you're here, Lord Ashura."

"So you shall stay by my side, right, Fai?" Ashura asked.

"Right," Fai nodded.

"Forever?" Ashura questioned further.

"Forever," Fai replied with a sleepy nod. "Forever… just… like… this…" And with that, Fai finally drifted off to sleep.

_I should have known there would certainly be a poisoned apple at the end of that fairytale life…_


	4. Frostbite

_**When the Snow Falls…**_

**_Chapter Three_**

_**Frostbite**_

_I can't believe it took me all that time to realize…_

"I can't do this any more," Fai said one day as he stood before the bed where he had spent so many nights entangled in the sheets with his Lord.

"What?" Ashura just stared. Perhaps he was surprised at the sudden change in Fai's attitude.

"I can't do this anymore. At first, this was kind of nice. After losing everything I loved… everything I had ever known… it was nice to find a purpose… and someone to love again…" Fai smiled sadly. "Now, though, I just feel like I'm being used."

"Used? What makes you think--?" Ashura began.

"The tattoo," Fai interrupted. "It was the tattoo that made me realize."

"Wait just a second. We agreed that it was in your best interest to contain your powers. We both agreed that it was dangerous to leave all that power you had acquired over the years alone. You consented to it."

"I know I did. The idea made perfect sense. That still doesn't mean you weren't using that perfect logic to conceal the fact that what you were truly interested in was controlling me," Fai spoke monotonously, never even so much as batting an eye.

"I would never--" Ashura denied.

"Don't bother. You can try lying to me all you want but I won't believe you for a second. I've seen the way you've looked at me all these years and over the years you've let that mask drop little by little and I've gotten a glimpse of the true you. I'm sorry, Lord Ashura, if my only problem was being used, I probably wouldn't care," Fai admitted. "In seeing the real you, though, I realized that there really is no room in your heart for me. If you loved me in any way at all, I would probably be just fine with being used. I can't do it anymore, though, because I've realized that no matter what I do… you will _never_ love me back."

"Fine then! You're going to give up on everything we have here then I'll give up on you!" Ashura shouted, losing his cool in the moment. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have even bothered calling out to you that day! Maybe I just should have left you there to die! Would _that_ have made you happy!?"

"I think at this point… that might have been better," Fai admitted. "If I had just drifted off, I could have at least been with my family again," he thought.

"Get out of my sight, you pathetic fool," Ashura growled. "I'll decide your punishment later."

Fai just bowed his head and left the room without another word. Two days later, he found himself being escorted to one of the coldest prison cells in one of the highest towers. He was told that he would most likely spend the rest of his life in that cell and, at first, he was perfectly happy with that. Away from Ashura and away from the rest of the world's troubles, Fai actually began to feel freer between the bars of his prison chamber than he had for years in the palace.

Then, one day, Ashura began sending guards to escort him back to the palace. At first, Fai couldn't understand why the king had sent for him but things all became very clear soon enough.

When Fai was brought to the king's bedroom, he already had a sinking feeling in his stomach as to what he could expect. This was only confirmed when Ashura asked the guards to leave and pinned Fai to the bed with his magic.

"Once I thought about it… I realized I still have a use for you Fai…" Ashura whispered tauntingly.

Fai shut his eyes tight and prayed it would be over soon.

Unfortunately, as Fai would soon discover, no matter how quickly it ended, it grew more and more painful each time. Ashura's sadistic side grew stronger every time and every time he found a new way to cause Fai even more pain.

Fai's imprisonment had actually begun to feel like imprisonment again. As the days passed, he began to cry more and more. With chips of stone he'd managed to break off the wall or sometimes with his own nails he would try now and then to take his life but each time the wounds healed over, barely even leaving a mark behind.

In all this pathetic suffering, Fai's main focus became a desire for love once again. It had started off as just a passing thought but soon became his mantra, "I want to die… but first… I want to be loved by someone…"

Fai soon came to grips with his reality, however. If he was ever to find a true chance at love, it was certainly not to be found in his prison cell or in the king's bedroom. Slowly, in the back of his mind, Fai began to plot his great escape.

_My only regret is that I hadn't done it sooner…before the frostbite in my heart left behind these permanent scars…_


	5. Trail of your Blood in the Snow

_**When the Snow Falls…**_

_**Epilogue**_

_**A Trail of Your Blood in the Snow**_

"I'm sure it isn't really there. I'm sure if it ever was it was covered up and forgotten by now. But whenever I look back, I see a trail of blood leading across the dimensions back to the tower where I was imprisoned. I don't think I can ever look back without seeing that trail of my blood in the snow," Fai sighed.

"Don't worry so much about it," Kurogane pulled Fai against his chest. "If you're still trailing blood I'll patch you up. You don't need to worry; I'll take care of you."

"Are you sure… you're alright with bearing that burden?" Fai asked, glancing up at Kurogane.

"You're not as problematic as you seem to think you are," Kurogane insisted. "Besides, you're well worth the 'burden'."

"So… now that you know everything... do you feel any differently about me?"

"No, but I think I can see why you didn't want to tell me," Kurogane admitted. "At any rate, it's getting late. You should try to sleep a little before the sun rises."

"I don't want to go to bed just yet…" Fai argued softly. "Can't we stay up a little longer… and watch the snow fall…?"

"Sure," Kurogane nodded, wrapping the blanket around himself and Fai and pulling the mage even closer.

"Thanks… Kuro-kun…" Fai smiled.

"Don't mention it," Kurogane responded.

The two sat watching the snow fall in silence for about an hour before Fai, who Kurogane had actually thought had fallen asleep already, suddenly whispered, "It's starting to disappear."

"Hm?" Kurogane blinked, surprised that the blond was still awake. He looked out the window before them. "I suppose it is starting to clear up," he said.

"I wasn't talking about the snowfall," Fai clarified. "The trail of my blood… it's starting to disappear… the snow is finally starting to cover it up…"

"Just because it's covered up doesn't mean it's gone; don't forget that, alright?" Kurogane insisted.

"If I ever were to forget, I'm sure you'd remind me, Kuro-chan," Fai insisted, laughing slightly.

"You know I would," Kurogane agreed, as the seemingly last snowflakes brushed past their window.

"Will you stay with me, Kuro-kun?" Fai asked.

"Of course," Kurogane nodded.

"Forever?" Fai glanced up at him.

Kurogane gave him a soft quick smile, "Forever."

"Forever... just like this..."

* * *

A/N: If you recognize the title of this chapter, yes, I did take it from a chapter of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's book "Strange Pilgrims." 


End file.
